Back in May, my husband and I sat down to discuss our thoughts about the previous year’s extracurricular activities. We evaluated a lot of factors, but the one that seemed to stand out most to Peter was something I didn’t expect. He pointed out that we only ate dinner together once or twice a week, and said he thought that needed to change in the next school year. He proposed that we not make any commitments that would jeopardize family dinner.

At first I’ll admit I thought maybe he was a little overly zealous about dinnertime. But once extracurriculars were over for the summer, I started to pay attention to how much we all enjoyed eating a meal every night as a family. By the end of June, I was convinced that this was something worth protecting.

Three months later, we’ve had dinner together almost every night. We’ve even made a point to avoid activities that jeopardize dinner time. It’s taken some creativity on a few occasions, but we’ve noticed such a difference in our family dynamic since we made daily meals a priority. Here are 6 benefits we have seen firsthand since making this change:

1. More Time. Last year we were all scattered in the evenings. We had different kids doing different activities in different places almost every night of the week. We still have some busy evenings, but for the most part we have at least 30 minutes (most of the time more like 45) that we can all sit together and enjoy a leisurely dinner without feeling rushed.

2. More Teamwork. Last year our two oldest girls had ballet basically every night of the week. They put in a huge effort to help with chores, but dinner prep and cleanup ended up falling to the same people night after night, simply because they didn’t have time to help. Now that we’ve protected our evenings, we all share the work, which is much more pleasant for everyone. I’m doing so much less cooking and cleaning when we’re all here for dinner every night.

3. More Saving. I don’t know if this is the case for everyone, but I struggle with overspending when I’m constantly on the go. Even when I would manage to make a weekly meal plan, I’d have a hard time sticking to it because I was so tired and overwhelmed with all the running around. We ate out or ordered takeout at least once per week when we had classes to go to every night. Now it’s a rare monthly treat, usually when we’re traveling.

4. More Connection. Eating together every night has fostered so much connection between all of us. This is true in general but also on a more practical level. Just as one example, since our family has grown I’ve had a hard time keeping track of what my kids’ favorite foods are, but sitting down with them every night has given me a better sense of their tastes and preferences. This is pretty helpful when it comes time to plan meals and grocery lists for the week.

5. More Conversation. We’ve had so many wonderful conversations over the last three months. Just tonight I was telling the kids a funny story from my childhood that I had never shared with them before. The kids often share things they are (or are not) enjoying in school. Having a meal together each day has proven to be a great way to share laughs, struggles, and memories with each other.

6. More Learning. Our two oldest girls have always been amazing bakers, but over the last few months they’ve taken their cooking skills up a notch. Last week alone, our oldest daughter learned how to make an Indian panang curry, a vegetarian chili, and homemade veggie burgers – all of which were delicious! The younger kids love to help with prep, and our three-year-old does a great job setting the table and cleaning the cabinets.

We’re Not the Only Ones

Before I started to write this post, I did a quick search to see if there were any studies that supported this idea of family dinner being beneficial. Not surprisingly, it turns out there are many studies that have found family meals to be a huge factor in child development and general human happiness.

This study linked family meals with lower rates of obesity over a 10-year period.

Family meals during adolescence were protective against the development of overweight and obesity in young adulthood. Professionals who work with adolescents and parents may want to strategize with them how to successfully carry out at least one to two family meals per week in order to protect adolescents from overweight or obesity in young adulthood.

This study found an association between frequent family dinners and adolescent mental health, particularly as it related to cyberbullying:

Although correlational, these results suggest that family dinners (ie, family contact and communication) are beneficial to adolescent mental health and may help protect adolescents from the harmful consequences of cyberbullying.

Research found that family dinner frequency was positively associated with healthy diet choices:

Eating family dinner was associated with healthful dietary intake patterns, including more fruits and vegetables, less fried food and soda, less saturated and trans fat, lower glycemic load, more fiber and micronutrients from food, and no material differences in red meat or snack foods.

…and the list goes on and on. If you’re interested in reading more, check out this list from the Family Dinner Project (yes, it turns out there is an entire project devoted to reviving the lost art of family dinner).

In Conclusion

As happy as I was to discover that research supports the idea that family dinner is worth protecting, I was even more excited when our teenage daughters told us how happy they are that we share a meal together every night, even though that means they can’t be in the ballet studio 10 hours per week any more.

I never would have thought three months ago that I would hear them say that.

There’s one more benefit that I haven’t listed because we haven’t quite seen it develop yet: better table manners. But we’re working on it. All things in good time!