About a year ago, our family said goodbye to our home in Maryland and set off on an adventure. We planned to travel for the rest of June, July, and August, then drive to Florida and rent an Airbnb for four months to discern whether or not we wanted to move there permanently. 

So we gave away or sold most of our possessions, stored the remaining items in my husband’s parents’ basement, only keeping what we could fit in our Suburban, which was already pretty packed with six kids and two adults. And then we were off.

I hadn’t anticipated then what an impact this decision would have, not just on myself, but on our family as a whole. Setting out on this adventure has been so fulfilling for all of us. This blog is a small attempt to share some of what we’ve learned, especially over the last year.

Beginnings

Rest assured, we hadn’t decided to make such a big move on a whim. It had been brewing for a year at least. After fifteen years of working in schools as a teacher and headmaster, my husband had felt for some time that it was time for him to make a change. He decided to step down from his position as headmaster at a DC high school and got a remote job in spring 2023. 

Relocating seemed like an obvious next step. We loved all our friends and family on the East Coast, but it just didn’t feel like home, even though we had lived there longer than we had lived anywhere else in our 15 years of marriage. 

We tossed around a few different options, but I think we both knew all along that the next place would be Florida. It’s where my husband and I met and spent our two-year engagement. It’s also sunny year-round, close to the water, and a great place to homeschool. It didn’t take long to figure out where we would land next, and before we knew it we had reserved an Airbnb in Tampa, Florida for four months, September through December 2023, and paid a deposit. It was happening. 

Questions

When we made this decision in March 2023, it didn’t seem that crazy to either of us. But as the months went by and I told people our plan, I started to wonder how reasonable it was, because pretty much every time I told people we were moving, they became confused. 

“So is your husband’s new job in Florida?” they would ask. 

The answer “No, it’s remote” always surprised them.

 “So you don’t have to move, then??” 

Yes, that is correct. 

“Oh. So…..why move? And why…Florida?” 

The simple answer, “We really like Florida,” was completely unsatisfactory and only prompted more questions.

Why move at all, if you don’t have to? 

What about your kids? 

What about all the friends and family you’re leaving behind?

What if it turns out that you hate Florida and you traumatize your kids forever by moving thousands of miles away when they’re perfectly happy in Maryland?? 

All good questions, but I admit I got weary of answering them – mostly because I was wrestling them myself. 

By the end of May, I started to dread talking about the move at all, and the questions weighed on me even when I wasn’t discussing them with other people. What if this was just some kind of mid-life crisis that we would regret forever? What if we were being selfish by putting our kids through this transition?

As I packed boxes, tried to decide what belongings to keep and what to give away, and heard the house become more and more echoey with emptiness, the worry and doubt set in. But we had already made our decision.

And then the day was there. The house was empty, the car was packed full, and goodbyes had been said. I don’t even remember the details of that day very well, but I remember the feeling of it. 

Suddenly all the anxiety and worry lifted away and I felt the freedom of the open, unknown, beckoning road ahead.

The Shift

I’ve moved a lot in my life, but this was the first time I was moving with my family to a place we all felt called to go – not for a job, but just for us, to live the kind of life we felt called to lead. It was a feeling I don’t think I’ve ever felt before. 

Now that it’s been a year, I can say that taking this adventure has changed our family in ways I couldn’t have known were possible. We’ve grown closer and depend on each other in ways we never did before. We stress less, sleep more, and feel happier than we ever have.

Our family’s mission has also become clearer, as has the call to share it with others. And it’s all because we decided to step out on an adventure together and do something we felt called to do, even if it seemed a little crazy at the time. 

One of the messages we’ve felt called to share is: Don’t be afraid to take action. Feeling stuck can be just that – a nagging feeling that results in inaction and doubt – or it can be an impetus for change.

Reflecting on the last year, it’s clear that our decision to do something new and challenging has taught us three important lessons. Here is what they are, and how they correspond with what we hope to share via our blog and website:

1. You might never feel ready, even if you are

As I shared above, as our move got closer, I felt less and less prepared. We were prepared, practically speaking, but that isn’t always the same as feeling ready. A little voice inside kept asking: Was this a sign that we weren’t supposed to leave?

I kept coming back to the answer that this was like any other real-life, physical leap into an unknown place. At some point you just have to choose whether you’re going to do it or not. We had decided to jump months before. Not only that, but we felt called to make this change.

If we had waited to feel completely ready, would we have ever taken action? Probably not. 

This is what we love about finding the adventure in life. There’s always a part of you that has to rise above, to transcend where you are at the current moment. Whether it’s learning something new, trying an exotic food, competing in a sport, or going to a completely new place, there’s a moment you have to decide: will I let fear stop me? 

The art of life is learning to face that question and answer it appropriately. And to do that as a family unit is even more challenging and rewarding.

We’ll share our experiences adventuring as a large family, such as fishing trips, Highland dance competitions, learning to sail, and training for events like a sprint triathlon and the Everglades Challenge.

2. You don’t need nearly as much as you think you need

We left Maryland with one carry-on size suitcase each full of the clothes and personal belongings to get us through one week. I expected to spend a ton of money on new clothes the minute we set foot in Florida, but aside from some items that were outgrown, we didn’t end up buying (mostly secondhand) clothes until late fall when the weather got colder. 

We’ve learned to live with so much less. When you’re on the road you can’t take a whole closet of clothes with you, and we’ve tried to keep the same mentality even though we’ve settled into a house now. We still go through our things regularly and give away clothes, toys, and other things we haven’t used. And instead of holding onto everything when the kids outgrow clothes, I’ve started keeping just a small tub of special items. 

We’ve also realized we don’t need as many scheduled activities as we used to participate in. When we first got here we didn’t know anyone. For the first time in years we had open days where we had nothing to do but homeschooling, exploring, and caring for our home. It was a strange feeling at first, but over time we decided we liked having lots of unscheduled daytime hours to focus on our family home life. 

Now that we’ve made friends and the kids have started extracurriculars, we’re trying to hold onto the feeling of freedom and avoid loading up the calendar with activities. We’ve also come up with ways to make weeknights less stressful by planning and preparing meals in advance, so that even the busy days maintain a spirit of leisure.

We’ll be sharing content that details how we’ve pared down our possessions to the essentials, as well as resources about meal planning, house cleaning, and other practical tips for keeping life as stress-free as possible with a big family.

3. Your family is your people

A few weeks before we left Maryland, I got into a conversation with a waitress who worked at a restaurant I frequented. I told her our plans, and she responded with the usual look of confusion. “Wow,” she said, “I don’t think I could do that.” I started to explain how it wasn’t that crazy for practical reasons x, y, and z, but she interrupted me. “No, no, I don’t mean that,” she said. “I just don’t think I could stand being around my husband and kids for that long.”

That response took me aback because it wasn’t even something I had considered. But as the months went by, I realized she was right about one thing: When you make a decision to leave the familiar, you’re stuck with the people who are along for the ride. 

There have been plenty of moments where we’ve all driven each other crazy, but after a year of being stuck with my husband and kids, I am happy to say I appreciate the amazing people they are now more than ever. Our kids have also bonded and it’s beautiful to see them be each other’s best friends. And we’ve even blessed with a new family member, born in spring 2024!

To that end, our articles and videos will focus on ways to draw closer as a family, be that in homeschooling, adventuring, or everyday life.  

The Call to Share

So many people think when you have kids your life ends and you have to put your dreams on hold, but it doesn’t have to be this way. Seventeen years and seven children into our marriage, we feel more excited about the future than ever, precisely because we are doing it together. 

Sadly, so many families don’t feel that way. There’s a reason our culture characterizes parents as exhausted, burned out, and ready to throw in the towel. 

That’s why we’ve felt called to share our story of being a big family in today’s world: to show that it’s not only possible, but also to offer support for other families who are on a similar path (or who want to be, but aren’t quite sure if it’s doable). 

We’re excited to share our adventures and hope you’ll come along for the ride. 

-NLC