We don’t need no education. We don’t need no thought control.

-Pink Floyd, The Wall

“Stay safe!” my kids said in unison as I headed out the door one morning to work.  They laughed and smiled because they had all said it together spontaneously.  Stay safe. 

I paused.  They may have said this to me before and my mind had just glided over the common farewell, but today it caught me.  “Stay safe.”  Is that what they want for me?  Is that how I want them to envision my work and my day? 

Thriving, striving, pushing, experimenting, fighting, engaging, wrestling – that’s what I’m actually doing. The work I was doing was not easy, not settled on railroad tracks so I just need to show up to get the job done.  Showing up isn’t enough if it means just being a present warm body.  To really show up you have to come ready to pay attention and wrestle with things. 

In fact, nothing of significance that I do is safe.  Everything important I do is dangerous. If I’m not being dangerous, taking things to the limit, I’m probably being lazy, cowardly, or passive.  Staying safe is no way to live, nor is it the way to happiness.  I definitely don’t want my kids to think safety is an inherently desirable goal.

“Stay dangerous,” I responded.  They laughed, then paused uncertainly.  “I’m serious,” I said. “Do something dangerous today.  Tonight at dinner I’ll ask you for a detailed report on what dangerous activity you did.”  Then I was off to work.

Thinking Isn’t Safe

One thing almost all kids have in common, the thing that is almost universally true about any given kid coming from virtually any household is that they think the two universal virtues are safety and niceness. I prefer courage and goodness.

When I told my children to stay dangerous that morning, I put them in a predicament. My instructions weren’t intuitive to them. This was an unusual order I had given them.  “Is Dad serious?  Obviously we can’t do just any old dangerous thing – what would be the right balance to satisfy Dad without making Mom mad or getting us killed?” They had to figure it out, think it through.

You don’t have to think very much if you’re staying safe.  In fact, not thinking for yourself is one of the prerequisites for staying safe. It turns out that thinking is a dangerous activity. 

When you think about things, work them out, mull them over, you end up taking some responsibility for them.  When you’re safe, you stay in the premanufactured lines and follow the well-worn path.  If you start bushwhacking, you have to figure out which way to go.  You have to avoid snakes, quicksand, and sudden cliffs.  That means you have to be present, to be aware and to think carefully about the risks you’re taking. 

“Stay dangerous” means:

Stay active, stay awake, stay alive, figure it out.

We choose not to opt for the default. We choose to take responsibility for life. Sick or healthy, poor or wealthy – we want to be alive for every minute of it. And we hope we can share a little of what we learn along the way.

-PDC